10 Random Poker Quotes

• im going to 2 out you to death
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger