10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.