10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"