10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.