10 Random Poker Quotes
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More Random Quotes- Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
- "What've you got, Layne?"
"You BEAT."
Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow.
$ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day
2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic
Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
- Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in.
--Jarod Kintz
- Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible.
Lisa: Really? Where?
Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
- Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
- Where's the buffet?
-Doyle Brunson
- Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
- what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
- When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
- Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.