10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.