10 Random Poker Quotes

• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Sucking out won't help you. The only cure for stupidity is losing. -- The BRICK --