10 Random Poker Quotes

• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright