10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Welcome to kicker school