10 Random Poker Quotes

• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)