10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth