10 Random Poker Quotes

• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright