10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.