10 Random Poker Quotes

• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• You have to piss with the dick you have