10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier