10 Random Poker Quotes

• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.