10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet