10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "No river, no fish."
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson