10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.