10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"