10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier