10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---