10 Random Poker Quotes

• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event