10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'