10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986