10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)