10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?