10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Its better to have played and lost then to not have played at all Dick McWatters
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.