10 Random Poker Quotes

• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo