10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright