10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "No river, no fish."
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.