10 Random Poker Quotes

• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• Welcome to kicker school
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"