10 Random Poker Quotes

• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• I suck, therefore I suck out. North Shore Mike
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'