10 Random Poker Quotes

• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.