10 Random Poker Quotes

• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen