10 Random Poker Quotes

• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from