10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.