10 Random Poker Quotes

• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)