10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• I'd rather be good than lucky, I'd rather be lucky than lose...
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Poker is for loners.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."