10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.