10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Poker is like life, most people don't learn from their mistakes they only recognize them. C.Arel
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."