10 Random Poker Quotes

• Welcome to kicker school
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.