10 Random Poker Quotes

• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"