10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.