10 Random Poker Quotes

• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.