10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.