10 Random Poker Quotes

• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."