10 Random Poker Quotes

• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "No river, no fish."
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.