10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "No river, no fish."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright