10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Poker is for loners.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]